Anticipation.

The last few weeks have been filled with HUGE events in our lives. Beginnings, endings, and more. I have so much to say, but I can't seem to find the words to get it all out yet. I'll start by paraphrasing my aunt who paraphrased the Purpose Driven Life by saying that grief and joy run parallel in our lives. This last year has certainly taught me that, if nothing else.

Tonight, however, I am focused on the joy. Well, joy, anticipation, fear, gratitude and excitement.

Tomorrow we will meet the woman who will give birth to our daughter. Just let that sink in for a minute.

Over the past few weeks we have gotten to know her via email and text. This woman is amazing. She wished ME a happy mother's day. She says she's excited about this process and "knows she picked the perfect family".  She feels like family to us. That might seem odd to you, but it feels so right to us. I prayed for the last year and a half that God would make room in my heart for her, and boy, did he ever. I don't have words to express my gratitude.

I can't wait to hug her. I'm afraid  I KNOW, I will cry tears of joy when I hug her for the first time. That will happen tomorrow. Tomorrow, people.

We put together a basket for her...things that we know she likes and things we hope she likes. Ohio law only allows a VERY small amount of our match funds be given to her, and we both think that is crap. She is on bedrest, in school and has a four year old. She defies EVERYTHING you think about a woman who places a child for adoption. We will defend her to the end, and have already had to defend her to a few people who don't understand adoption. That's okay. We love her; it's not hard.

Adoption has changed a lot in the last 20 years. I don't think anyone knows whether it's better or worse for all involved, but I can say this. I'm thankful that I get to meet this woman. That I get to see her carrying this baby. That this baby will know how much she is loved by all involved.

What will happen next? No one can predict. But tomorrow will be a beautiful day.