The Adoption Process....what happens next?

Many of you have been texting, calling, and emailing to find out what happens next in our adoption process! I thought it would be easier to share on the blog than write a million different emails. Although-if you want to chat, please call, text or email!

First of all, I have to say thank you so much to all of you for your encouraging words, prayers, and thoughts about our adoption. Without many of you, we would never have been able to make it to this day (financially and emotionally!).

There are essentially 6 phases once you are matched.

1. The match call.
2. The conference call with adoptive parents, birth mom and adoption specialists
3. The pre-baby visit
4. The hospital call
5. The hospital
6. Signing papers and post-placement visits

I'll try to explain each briefly. We have already had the match call, when the adoption specialist calls to tell you a birthmother had chosen you. Boy, that was an exciting day! April 10th, 2013, one day after our 9th wedding anniversary. A date I will never forget!

Last week we had the conference call with our birth mother. She is amazing. I could go on and on, but her personality is sparkling and she is a beautiful person. It was like we had known forever.

Our next step is the pre-baby visit. In two weeks we will be visiting "Dee" for the weekend. She is very excited about meeting us in person, as are we! We had been working on a gift basket of goodies that are tailored to her interests. Mostly, I just can't wait to hug her, see her, and know her. I thought this part would be awkward (and maybe it will be...), but so far, it has felt very natural, which I'm so thankful for.

Soon after the visit, the "hospital call" will occur. Basically, Dee's adoption specialist talks with her about what she wants to happen in the hospital-things like whether she wants us to be in the delivery room or in the waiting room, how much time she wants to spend with us and the baby, and so on. We do know that the state she lives in requires her to wait 72 hours to sign the papers, and then we have to wait 7 days to have our first post-placement visit and wait on the interstate compact agreement papers to go through her state and VA and back. So we are prepared for a stay of about 10 days or a little longer. Luckily, we found an extended stay hotel that has a full kitchen and washer/dryer.

At the hospital, anything could happen. This is the scariest part for everyone, for all the obvious reasons. Basically, our adoption specialist explained to us that there are three types of hospitals: those that deal with adoptions frequently and allow adoptive parents lots of access (give them a room, a bracelet, access to the nursery), those that give limited access (nursery only), and those that give no access unless the birthmother is present. We are obviously hoping for the first or second option, but we will see how things unfold. The big buzz word about the hospital is "flexibility".

And the elephant in the room-can she change her mind and decide to parent? Yes. We are fully aware of that risk, but after getting to know this sweet woman, I would have a very difficult time being upset with her if she chose that. Do I think it will happen? No, based on lots of factors I won't share here, because again, that's her story, not ours. Honestly, I think she is going to become a very special person in our lives. In fact, she already is!

Once she signs the papers, we are allowed to take the baby "home" to our extended stay hotel. During that time, a social worker will come check on us and baby. We are required to stay in the state for 7 days after Dee signs the papers. Yes, we will be waiting on pins and needles.

After ALLLLLLL the paperwork and post-placement visit occur, we can take the baby home to VA. After that, we have a visit by our VA social worker once a month for the first five months.

Whew. And...all of this is going to happen in the next two months-she is 32.5 weeks along as of today.

We really need your prayers and positive thoughts! Mostly, the birth mom and baby need the prayers. We appreciate them as well, but we are not the ones making this difficult decision. I wish I could say more about how amazing this woman is; she defies all stereotypes of birth mothers. She is a very special person.

So, for now, we wait, we prep, we get excited and terrified. It's a roller coaster of emotions, but that's just part of becoming a parent, right?

I do know this. I never knew you could love someone so much that you haven't even met. That goes for baby and birth mom. A year of tragedy and grief has turned into a miracle. Thanks be to God.